As a Mom I often feel like there's simply not enough hours in the day. I'm sure you can relate. Between running a home, running a business, trying to be a good wife, mom, and friend... there just aren't enough hours.
Earlier today I was scrambling to get some business things taken care of and trying to ignore how impatient Elizabeth was becoming with the toy I made her yesterday and then it hit me...
How many times do I say, "just a second, baby" in a day? How often do I reply, "hold on" or "in a minute"? Too many, that's for sure. And confessing that is hard.
I chose this life as a work at home mom for a reason. To be at home with her. So that I wouldn't miss anything, and for fear of someone else raising her. So that I could be her Mommy and friend and so that I could always be here when she needed me.
But truth is, sometimes I don't always remember that. Some days I pay way more attention to my business and tasks for the day than I do playing one-on-one with her, and engaging in new learning activities with her.
When the reality of that hit me today, I was overcome by guilt. Yeah, I can justify it to say, "well, at least I'm physically here for her" and "at least nobody else has her", but that's not good enough. I am a mom. Above all. I chose her. I chose this life. And I shouldn't let anything, business or other, come before that.
Through the sick stomach of guilt, I immediately closed down my computer and went to her. We spent a long time dancing around the house! She's only 15 months old, but I'm trying to teach her to two-step like PawPaw & I use to do. Her giggles made the guilt fade a little.
The realization of this has made me think long and hard about vowing to truly make her front and center above work and taking care of the home. I've never liked for her to see me focusing on my computer or phone, for fear that she would learn to do the same thing, so I will strive to really only do it while she's napping or during a certain short time when I know she's occupied.
There will always be work to be done and dishes to do,
but there won't always be a giggly, blue-eyed toddler running around.
Thanks, Jaima!
Thanks, Jaima!
I totally love this post and it's so interesting because I've been thinking the exact same thing recently. I'm not spending enough undivided time with my kids. My attention is always torn between them, the computer, dinner, cleaning, planning something....the list goes on. Our kids are sooooo precious and deserve us. If we are too busy for them, our priorities need to be changed.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand where you are coming from. I am torn with being a full time working mom. It was very difficult when she was younger, but as she gets older the work/life balance is getting a little better and easier. Yes, I too felt that I would be paying attention to work then her when I had to bring work home, but I made sure that at least the weekends were devoted to only her. I really think that it comes down to balance and perspective. Good luck and try not to beat yourself up too bad!
ReplyDeleteI wrote a post on this a few months ago. Check it out...maybe it will help you along the way
Have a great weekend!
http://singlemominspiration.blogspot.com/2011/03/work-life-balance-my-perspective.html
So very true and so insightful. Mine are all teenagers now and I often wondered how so many blogging friends that I admire manage to do it all. I know I never could have raised my kids and given them the attention they really needed by doing it all. Sometimes ya just have to put things on the back burner. But do not make the mistake I made by never doing anything that makes you happy and fulfilled. Find the balance and you will be happy in every aspect of your life. Wow, I am getting deep here. You will figure it all out...your instinct will tell you.......Sue
ReplyDeleteAmen, very well said and thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteSarah, sometimes we all need to remember what is important.....despite all the other things that "need" to get done! It's all a balancing act! Good for you for stopping in the middle of your busy day for a sweet little dance with your baby girl! How yummy she is!!
ReplyDelete